Childbirth Education, round 1

To make a proper introduction, I should state that I expect(ed) next to nothing from this class. It is organized by the Mayo clinic and they say, or believe, that it will prepare us for the grand finale, as well as many other things, ranging from pregnancy and postpartum to infant care. I suppose it does so, if your pregnancy and birth related knowledge equals something an early elementary school kid would know.

Anyway. After our first 2-hour session, I sure do feel prepared to... give birth at home. 

I didn't really like the instructor, unfortunately. She's one of the nurses from the hospital and now that I've met her, I hope she won't be there when day D actually comes. (I kind of hope nobody would be there, really, and that my only option was to deliver on my own and have the raccoons cut the cord, or something. Or I suppose my doctor can be around, for just-in-case purposes.) There were too many ridiculous games she wanted us to play and, I'm sad to say, there are even more to come. The only thing I'm looking forward to is the hospital visit, simply because I'm masochistic - I'll probably freak out even more when I get to see all of the machines and other things they more than likely consider to be necessary.

One of the games was some random card thing, where she dealt them to all the couples and wanted us to say something about things that were written on them. So we had a rather boring lecture about preeclampsia, placenta praevia, fever, premature labor and, guess what else? Something I was given, of course. My card for tonight was this:

Not a big surprise, is it? The instructor also felt the need to answer my question with a yes, when I asked about nausea and vomiting during labor. Apparently that really is a very common thing. Well, shoot, I suppose. She also said they could feed me something through IV if I wanted it, that'd help with nausea, but... well, we'll see. I doubt I'd go as far as to take it, but I don't know how far I'd get if I do puke, either.

She had us ask questions, too, and we were supposed to write them down on a piece of paper and put in her dinosaur-shaped baseball cap. So we did. I used a purple pen, which I had in my hand during all of the class, too, so I must've been really secretive about my question. I wanted to know how much control they would actually give me during my hospital stay and if they thought the whole birthing experience was more about the mother and the baby, or their hospital rules, after all. She was honest and said that, well, they did have rules. I didn't really expect any other answer, either. It does help to have a provider you can trust (oh, really?) and of course you can go over any and all wishes with them, but nobody can guarantee that they will be available when the baby decides to come. (Oh, really?)

So, for now, I am fairly freaked out. If things really are as bad as she made it sound (and I have no reason to believe it can be all that better, at least based on my small sample of women who I have met or heard of, who have given birth in the past XY years at the same hospital), I won't be looking forward to labour and delivery at all. Since we've not yet had a very detailed (and/or final) discussion with our doctor, I will give the whole thing at least some benefit of doubt and wait to see what he has to say about some of the things that bother me, or make me worried. So far, we've been on the same page with the doctor, but I am absolutely aware that he is, after all, employed by the dreadful institution and that he probably can't really do everything I want (as well as everything he wants, either). I know that he doesn't induce unless there are serious medical reasons, so that's good. And I know that there is a huge chance he will be there when I show up. But other than that... I suppose he still needs to tell me how limited his own choices and actions are.

I learned tonight that they don't do routine episiotomies (unless they are part of some whatever procedure that I personally would, or wouldn't agree with or consider it necessary) and that instead they let you tear on your own. I suppose that's something. There is no shaving and enema, which is also good. But there is all kinds of other, pardonmyfrench, shit. Routine IV is something that, according to her words, is very unlikely to be avoided. I actually asked about it, because I don't consider it to be an important precautionary measure. She said they don't do anything but saline, blablabla, and that it's there for, again, all those just-in-case (freaking Justin Timberlake comes to mind every time I write this, wtf.) scenarios, but I'm kind of thinking, hey, you know... if you can't shoot the thing up my vein when I need it, within seconds and all, how am I supposed to trust you with my, as well as my (un/new)born baby's life, if you can't even poke me with a needle?! Again, she said, there'd be a chance my provider would agree to do this. Or, well, not do it.

She said they normally let you delay delivery for up 24 hours once your waters break. Hm. That's better than 12 hours, or no time at all, I guess. Also, per her words, they'd just break them for you, anyway, if you show up at their doorstep in labour, but with the intact sack. (My only response was a strong urge to tell her that I'd break her neck instead, but I kind of kept my mouth shut, for once.) This is pretty bad; this ordeal is kind of making me more aggressive than I normally am. Damnit.

So I guess I wait and see how deep down the drain I'll be sending all of my plans and wishes, from avoiding this and that, to requesting some other this...es and thats. They gave us a worksheet that is, supposedly, going to help me write a birth plan, but now that I've heard just one single fifth of what they want to share with me, I have no idea why I would even waste time on all those words. (I will still do it, though.)

I guess I'll share some of the questions they suggest that I answer, because I've got nothing better to do at the moment.

• What would you like the atmosphere and environment in your labour room be? Do you people seriously care about my wishes? If I said I didn't want tons of people poking and proding me, bright lights and noise, would you really leave me alone?
• Is there anything the staff could do to make your experience more memorable? Is there, really?
• What are your feelings about pain medicine during labour and birth? Well, if I can't even avoid the saline IV, how do you think I go about avoiding the rest of the cocktail?
• Immediately after birth, would you like to have your baby skin-to-skin? Okay, this is the second time you're bringing this up as your kind-of-standard practice, so I might start believing you it is in fact true. 
• If your baby is a boy, do you want him circumcised. Hell no. (Note to self: make a huge sign saying NO NO NO.)
• etc.

Scary, the whole deal. Derek hated the class  probably even more than he thought he was going to and I have to admit I don't really blame him. Like I said, I didn't really expect much of it, but I also didn't think I'd dislike it this much. We'll go back, though, because I want to hear more about the hospital procedures and I really do want to see the hospital machinery.

At least, now we're both more than certain that we need a doula. At least one of them, even though an entire football team might be needed. Perhaps a few baseball bats would help, too. Either way, I need to contact the doula(s) of my choice and see if we can get this figured out.

Ugh. I seem to be feeling all kinds of things at the moment and it's like anything from rage to fear and hopelessness. Shitty. I do have time to get things figured out, but I still don't like the state I'm in.

I wish homebirth was a safe option for us, really.

All Hail the Muffin

These are not your ordinary muffins. Quite possibly they are not muffins at all. Actually, when I think about, I don't even know if there's a real muffin definition. Well, I didn't. I looked it up just now and learned that muffin is nothing but an American English word for a type of quick bread (is that something like quicksand?!), baked in small portions. Of course, I followed the Wiki link from muffins to quick bread... but then I also got bored of it all.

The muffins I talk about, and I am fairly sure now that I can absolutely call them that, are made in a microwave. Granted, this just has to be an American invention, but hey, all hail the muffin! Because these muffins really are good.

I found about them a couple weeks ago, or so, when a friend shared her healthy recipe find on one of the forums I go to. It was originally found on this blog, but it's been changed since... uhm, quite a few times. First my friend didn't make it the way the recipe said it should be made, and then I changed everything, too. 

I don't have any good photos, unfortunately, but since I cook these for breakfast almost every morning, and I get up at 6:30, nobody should expect me to go whip out the big Canon and start a photo session, right?

Okay, here is the deal. These guys are really reasonably healthy. They're also good for you because they're full of protein. They're also very good for me, because they make me eat healthy breakfast foods in the morning, when I normally can't stomach any of them. For a very reasonable amount of calories, there's plenty of food to be eaten. They're pretty huge, about the size of an average orange, or even bigger at times. You can eat them as is, or you can cut them in half and put a little bit of peanut butter and, say, homemade marmelade.

The first one I ever made was banana-coconut. Easy to make, done in about five minutes, including baking.

Banana - Coconut Muffin

Whip up an egg. The whole thing, even though the woman on the blog says she uses only eggwhites. Yolks are good for you. Use a fork, no need for a mixer; that'd be just way too much work for a single-serving treat, really. Grab another bowl and throw half of a normal-sized banana into it. Mash with a fork. Add 2 - 3 tablespoons of coconut flour to the mix (not the shredded sugary things from your local grocery store, but more like the real flour, or coconut flakes with absolutely nothing added). Throw in about half a teaspoon or whatever small amount of baking powder (I am laughing at the one I bought the other day: it is not GMO, it says. Abuuh?) and then also some amount of cocoa. Again, it has to be real cocoa powder, unsweetened. Stir, mix, whip, do whatever. It doesn't require a lot of work, no matter what it is. Put the whole thing (along with the bowl, yes) into your microwave and cook 2.5 to 4 minutes. Our oven is some 1300W monster, so it takes no longer than 2:30, really. Enjoy the deliciousness.

Pumpkin - Wheat Germ Muffin. With cinnamon.

It's all the same as the first one, except that here I used wheat germ instead of that coconut and pumpkin puree, instead of the banana. All of the quantities stayed roughly the same, but so far I've learned that nothing at all can go wrong with this dish. It's worked every single time so far. The pumpkin I used was Libby's pure pumpkin can and I think I packed about two tablespoons into my bowl. Add as much cinnamon as you like and also some sort of a sweetener. I've tried both brown sugar and honey so far and both work fine (I used half a spoon of sugar one time and half a spoon of honey the other time). It takes the same amount of time to cook this guy and it's really good. I've also tried adding dried cranberries and/or currant to this mix. Very good. This kind of a muffin is a lot fluffier than the previous one and there's a lot more moisture to it, too.

Apple sauce with cinnamon

My newest creation. Wheat germ, egg, cinnamon and natural apple sauce (this is basically apple puree, no sugar added). No sweeteners added at all. I did throw a few dried cranberries into this, for some good measure. Very lightweight, very airy and pretty moist, too. Tastes good.

Here are some of the poor-quality pictures I have:

The first one I ever made: banana-coconut guy.

One of the pumpkin muffins

This one I made for Derek and it was by far the least healthy of these creations. He wanted sweetness, as well as more dried fruits.

 

I would like some winter time, pretty please

I'm getting fed up with this weather! This seriously isn't what I signed up for, or at least agreed to when this lying husband of mine suggested that I move to this corner of the Earth to live with him. I was supposed to be getting cold winters (ok, they kind of have been, but none of them was, in fact, nearly as bad as they told me they would be) and beautiful summers, not nearly as hot as those in Croatia and, to make it even more hilarious, not nearly as humid. Well, four summers later, I have to LOL at that. Minnesotans are liars, at least when it comes to all this weather-related chit-chat. There, take that, people!

I seriously want this to go away. I want to be able to go outside and actually do something (ok, we can pretend that, at this point, I know what it would be), instead of being locked inside and making sure I don't move anywhere too far from the car and/or buildings I need to get to. Ick, ick, ick. Even though I've been in a pretty good mood and have had no reasons to feel down or be depressed, this kind of weather is getting the best out of me here and there. I guess I'm just too bored and, I have to admit, feeling like I'm wasting my life away (while doing nothing, that is) makes me feel a bit meh. 

Okay, I have been doing some things. I've made some friends, again, this time with two litters of raccoons. They've been coming to our back yard, or to be more specific, to our deck. They come because I feed them on a daily basis, not because we're so irresistible, or something. I've been buying some dog food and marshmallows and they also get our leftovers. We'll be replacing our deck with a new one, perhaps even this summer, so I don't really care about the mess these little critters leave every night.

There are two adult coons, even though I'm not sure one of them still cares about us, or even the babies: I've not seen that one in days and his or her raccoons have been visiting us on their own. I have no idea how old they might be, but these four are by far the smallest/youngest ones I've ever seen. They are big enough to eat on their own and so far I've learned that they are not fans of apricots (their tonight's dinner is still glued to my deck; that's how much they didn't like them). The other five kiddos are somewhat bigger and they come with the mother every night. The two families coexist, but it's easy to tell who belongs to which group.

In the beginning, I could only watch them from the distance, through the glass door, but now I can step outside when the smaller babies are around and they usually won't care. It actually seems like they want to approach me, but I have to admit that I'm a bit hesitant, if not uncomfortable, to touch them, or let them touch me. I did a lot of coon-petting two summers ago, when we still lived out in the country at Derek's parents, but at this point, I'd rather not be given a rabies shot, tetanus and/or some antibiotics (those little guys at my in-laws' house eventually all died from distemper, for instance).

Here are some of the best critter shots I have (and the rest can be found here, if anyone feels like killing some time):

I missed a few good photos last night, but the weather was so messed up that my Canon lense kept refusing to cooperate. And yes, we still haven't bough the wipes either; we're that lazy sometimes.

Kittica seems to be liking the little guys more than she likes any other animals, but I can see that she's getting pretty jealous, especially when she sees me going out with some raccoon foods. The other night, she got so upset that she actually went into her toy box and peed on some hand-me-down toy. Well, that was a first... and I hope she'll never do it again. She picked an item that wasn't originally hers, so I guess she was trying to relay some message there. We'll see what happens when the baby comes... uhoh.

Loook at meeee, I aaam preeeettieeeeeeeeeer...

Other than the coon-related business, we've been working on the upstairs, too. Okay, Derek's mom has, for the most part, because neither of us has been able to take time off work to just sit around and watch the contractors of all kinds. So far, the old bathroom has left the building, as well as some of the floor coverings from the other rooms. We're getting a new tub installed on Monday and I suppose they'll start replacing the missing walls after that, too. But more on that will come in some other posts, as this one is already turning into a weird mixed salad.

The baby is doing fine, at least from what I can tell. I'm as big as a whale, or at least I feel like one, and today I hit my 21st week mark. I hope I don't double in size by the end of this trip. I've been feeling good, except for the bits and pieces directly related to this heat, which tends to wear me out a bit too soon. No swellings, no blood pressure issues, no... anything. My stomach goes a bit wonky every once in a while, and still only in the evenings, but it's nothing major. There have been no cravings, no food aversions and no insane mood swings either. I get emotional here and there, but soon enough I end up laughing at my silly self (ok, perhaps these would be mood swings, after all, huh?). We get to see the baby again in about ten days and perhaps we'll see, again, that it's mostly a boy. Or it'll change into a girl... who knows.

I've been feeling the movement lately, too. Perhaps it's been a few weeks now since I started pretty much knowing that it's the baby and not my (in)digestion. For the most part, it feels like champagne bottle pop muffled by tons of water, but lately I can actually notice some different sensations, too. Last night in bed, I actually got to see my belly move: something the size of a small peach popped out for a few seconds. Ick! Yup, I said ick because that's how it made me feel. It was weird and creepy and kind of cute at the same time. I guess it's really weird when your body parts have a mind on their own... simply because someone with a mind of their own lives in there. Amazing!

Our huge batch of cloth diapers arrived today (it was ordered from Hong Kong less than a week ago and they even offered free shipping!) and it seems I'll have to get going because our beloved cat is trying to chew on them again. She's been pretty amazed by diapers for some unknown reason.

LOLZ.