Az-ICK-i Beans

I decided to cook something with azuki beans tonight and I wanted it to be a meal different than, say, chili or some other bean stew or soup. After exploring some of my options (google, of course), I decided to go with Heidi Swanson's Azuki and Butternut Squash Soup recipe. We love beans, we love butternut squash... so how could things even go wrong, right?

Oh, they sure could. And they did.

I didn't have that chipotle whatever that the recipe called for, so I replaced it with some crushed peppers, as well as some crushed chili. I prepared my coriander and other spices in a mortar (btw. don't mortar and pestle remind you of some kickass British detectives, such as, say, Dalziel and Pascoe?), chopped the onions, warmed up the oil and started cooking.

Everything was kind of good up until the point where the cinnamon started smelling of dessert. Wroooooong. This is my main course, not some cake, yet the whole house smelled of cinnamony... onions. Ick. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Garlic didn't help either. I added the butternut squash, then the tomatoes, too and at that point I realized that the smell of this whole blend made me, kind of, gag. Ick. I tasted the thing, too, and found the flavour to be extremely repulsive. 

The pot is now at our doorstep, in the snow, cooling down. Once it gets to some reasonable temperature, I'll flush it down the toilet. I feel bad about throwing food away, but I don't think anyone I know would eat this. Even moreso because I never added the beans - I decided to save them and cook something edible on Wednesday.

Ick, ick, ick.

But at least I took a nice photo? 

The only issue I have now is tomorrow's lunch: I'll be out and about all day and I have pretty much no healthy options, other than chewing on some grass again.  Ohwell. Better luck next time, I suppose.

To run, or not to run?

Actually, it's not that big a dilemma. If exercising on an elliptical machine is running, even a tiny bit, then I have been running for over two months. If it isn't, then I haven't been doing it, but I sure am considering it as a possibility. Treadmills still make me feel really weird, kind of like bordering on dizzy, so I guess I either need to start running in circles (I'm not even joking - our local Y has some weird indoors walkway that can be used for running) or I'll have to wait for some better weather. Hm. Tough one, I guess, especially since I think running is boring. But it's good for me and I've already been through just about any and all other options in our little town.

I bought a pair of sneakers yesterday, trail-running kind, and now I'm not sure if I should keep them. Okay, I wasn't sure if I should buy them in the first place, but:

a) I liked them - I was drawn to them immediately because of their color and shape

b) they were very reasonably (under)priced

c) I tried them on and they fit nicely

d) I don't have a pair of actual running shoes that fit nicely at all

But, there's also an e), I suppose, too: I don't run. Yet, at least.

Derrrrrp.

Okay, so what do I do? I own a pair of really good Nike sneakers which I love for my elliptical/AMT workouts, but they are not good for running, or just about anything with a lot of impact. Or any impact at all, as they have just about no cushioning. What's really nice about them is that they weigh almost nothing. Then I have a pair of supposedly-running Nike sneakers, but they are running a bit too small if I run or overall move too fast. Or maybe not small per se, but they're not particularly comfortable either. I bought them a long time ago, on some sale, and they seemed to fit okay (because I didn't know any better). I still use them at the gym here and there. My third pair was something really cheap, I don't' even know the brand. These should probably get donated because I've never fallen in love with them. No chemistry between us, I suppose.

So I brought this new pair home last night and now they're sitting in a box, waiting for me to figure out what I want done with them. They fit nicely, like I said, but I am still pretty unsure about their size. I know you should wear a size bigger shoes for running, yet this are pretty much half a size smaller than what I'd normally buy. I usually wear 8.5, sometimes 8, and these Adidas thingies ended up being a full 8. And they fit nicely, even with some extra room all over. They didn't have any other sizes in that style, but I tried a pair of very similar ones and 8.5 seemed weird, loose and uncomfortable.

Aaaaaaaa. How do I figure this out, without keeping a pair of shoes that'll just end up being a nice accessory or a random pair of something to wear to the grocery store, or when I go biking, or whatever? (They are pretty damn cool, but I don't need another pair of random something, especially since I bought two other things on sale just a week ago. Uh. Less than a week ago. Okay, nevermind, now I'm just revealing my shoe-buying addiction.)

Anyway, here are the shoes:

Keep? Return? Run? Not run? Btw, wouldn't you keep something that goes by the name of Galaxy Incision?

Aaaaaaaa. Headexplode.

Yes, I fully realize I have nothing better to do, other than to think about a pair of sneakers so much that they end up on my (pointless) blog. But one's gotta do what they gotta do. If it kills time, why not, right?

I fail at updating this blog!

I absolutely do, but when I think about it, there's not all that much to talk about. Or sometimes I actually could say a lot, but then choose not to, for this or that reason. Usually it's something about privacy - there sure are various things going on that I could discuss (err, rant about, probably all by myself), but I kind of think they don't really belong on the Internet, out in the open like this. So maybe someday I'll go back and talk about old news and nobody will care and everything will be just fine, as usual! 

I've been a little bit angry lately because I feel like I don't have enough time for anything. It just feels a lot harder to synchronize a full-time job, part-time school, gym and all the everyday house-related chores. I've done similar things before, but it was back home in Croatia and it all seemed easier. Work eats at least nine hours of my poor day which, despite my constant demands (huh, who do I actually send them to?), still lasts only 24 hours. I wish I could trade my lunch hour in and either leave early or come in late because, as it is right now, this is just a waste of my time, as well as my gas money. Sure, I could sit at work, but that's just too depressing. Walking around in this cold for an hour is kind of ridiculous, but even in summer I feel a little bit awkward when I go for a walk because pretty much nobody else ever does. Downtown, at least. I don't know if there are some weird trails or other places designated for something as simple as walking. 

Cooking and grocery shopping are (also) my fault, but I am not willing to change those. I could always cut down on cooked meals and start eating various boxes, but I simply refuse to. Same with grocery shopping - with the type of foods we eat, I usually need to go to the store at least twice a week and, on top of that, I need to visit multiple locations because I can't get all my stuff at the same spot. Grrr. But again, I guess, this is my choice. I keep telling myself that this is for the better so, whatever, I get angry and then try to shrug it off. 

School. Well. School seems to be for kids and/or unemployed only. This is my fifth semester at MSU, or so I think, yet I've been only through a handful of classes. I sure do hope that the degree I'll get when I turn, say, 70, will be of some use! I wish I could take more classes, even moreso because I find school to be extremely easy (and quite often boring), but it just doesn't work with a full-time job schedule. Or any schedule that doesn't leave you free as a bird at odd hours, such as 1 or 3 pm. Every once in a while, there's something available in the evenings, too, so I try my best to get into those classes, at least. This semester, I'm taking Desktop Publishing and, oddly enough, I love it. This is probably because the professor is really, really awesome.

Hmm. What else is new, or just random enough to be mentioned here? The gym's fine. It's been busier than before this whole New Year's thing, but it's doable. It was horrible for a few days right after the holidays, but even two weeks into the new year, most of the supposedly-enthusiastic newcomers can hardly ever be seen. Good. For me, not so much for them. It looks like most people don't particularly care for my favourite elliptical either, so I'm usually good to go. I am now over 1/4 (and a bit!) of the way to my final weightloss goal and it's been (only) two months and nine days. Way to go, me. I mean, way to go, bitch, and yes, you can do better. Rawr! We'll think about all the Samsonite material later, ok? I'll be handing out some coin pouches when I'm done for good. 

I think I'll go to Ikea tomorrow because I haven't been there since... hmm, some months ago. I think it was mid September last time I gave the Swedish people some money. I need one bowl, yes, exactly one bowl - I dropped one of them a few weeks back while doing the dishes with a pair of icky rubber gloves on my wounded hands. Isn't it worth the trip? C'mon, who wouldn't drive some odd 130-ish kilometers (one way!) to get a couple dollars worth of a bowl... along with all those other things that just randomly fall into your cart and somehow leave the store with you, once you leave half your paycheck at the checkout? But, yeah, I need stuff. I have a huge project in mind, too, but it's way too early for that one. So for now, I need to just hold my horses. 

I also need an easel, but I have no clue which one to buy. It needs to be really sturdy and heavy, too, because I want to work on a few huge formats. I suppose I need to research some art-supply companies from this side of the world and find something that fits my budget, as well as my studio-craft room. I've been horribly lazy and I haven't produced anything in forever. Oops. This also reminds me of The Sketchbook Project, which I need to start working on, too. My notebook arrived some time ago and I've not yet used it. Oops, again. Actually, I haven't even picked my theme yet either. 

Bad, bad, bad. But I'll get better, I promise.

As far as the easels go, I'd like something like this (shitty picture, but I have to admit I got lazy looking for another one):

New Year's Resolutions? None, sorry. But I can talk about fat instead... and my muscle. Let's not forget my gorgeous muscle.

I don't have any. I actually can't remember if I've ever made any as I kind of find them to be pretty ridiculous. I do make plans and decisions, though, but they happen randomly, regardless of what day or date it actually is.

So I really don't have much of anything to share here. I plan to do what I've been doing and I'll try to improve at all those things. (Yeah, ok, I'm a big megalomaniac at times.)

I've looked at a few blogs where people talk about healthy living and I can't, over and over again, but stare at them blankly. While it's really nice that they've achived their goals or at least worked hard towards them (and I admire them for that!), I just can't figure out the healthy living part. But then again, I'm slowly getting used to being different when it comes to foods we eat at home and what we consider good and healthy. Low fat? Sweeteners instead of sugars? Diet products? Those don't live in our home. So far, I've only done a good job avoiding them and my doctor reports agree with what I believe (and practice). So whatever. Luckily, there's pretty much always enough room for shrugging it all off.

I had a fitness assessment appointment tonight at the Y and I have to admit that I am pretty (pleasantly) surprised. I am actually decently fit, especially for someone of my size. I already knew my blood pressure and resting heart rate would be normal, but I also got average, normal results when they took the pressure after my three-minute-killing-me-not-so-softly stepping session. I thought the stepping part was going to be fine... and, well, I was wrong in the end, of course. Derrrp. 

Then they had some smartass scale calculate all kinds of fun and not so fun stuff. My body fat percentage is pretty damn high, but that didn't surprise me at all. My bone mass rang at 6.6 somethings and that, apparently puts me into a really healthy bone-bracket, whee. No osteoporosis threats for me, at least for now!  My muscles weigh 55.8 kilograms (123 lbs), so that made me kind of giggle. My muscle alone weighs as much as an average woman. From South Korea, not, say, the US. Rawr. I guess it's kind of hilarious to blame one's bones for their obesity, huh?

However, my upper body strength is - nonexistent. They made me lift 13.6 kilos (30 lbs) while lying on something (Derek said this torture machine was called bench press) and I failed to do more than four lifts. Thne I laughed. Then the guy said I shouldn't, because it's pretty obvious that my magical muscles actually live in the bottom half of my body. Then he prescribed some strength training and then I sighed and moved on. I mean, yes, I understand it needs to be done. Do I like it? Hell no!

The magic scale also said that my body water was only 41%, or something like that. Oops. I guess I was wrong, thinking I was well hydrated. This is the most important thing I need to work on, said my tonight's guru. How? I have no clue, because I really kept thinking, all this time, that  drink enough. I suppose I should randomly down a couple more bottles of water a day, then. This needs to go up at least 10 - 15% and then it will, at the same time, mean that my body fat is decreasing and that my muscles are growing and that the world, as a whole, will all be rainbows and butterflies. Yup. Just you wait.

Hmm. What else did I leaarn today? Aha, I can lean and reach and whatnot a bit more than some random woman would. Ok. This actually isn't new - I've known all along about my uber-ultra-awesome-flexibility. Physical flexibility, of course. Otherwise I'm a tough cookie.

Finally, the trainer taught me how to monitor my heart rate and what to do with my elliptical friend. It turned out I had been running too fast and pushing my heart rate to some reasonable, yet too-much-cardio planes of existence. He said I should focus more on burning my fat through exercise, instead of my carbs. Hmmm. I might need to look into this one a bit further before I completely change my routine. And then I heard more about cross training and my other archnemesis - treadmill. Ok, I said, I will try to somehow make friends with that one, too. Le sigh and all that jazz. I don't have all these reports on me, so all of this is actually pulled out of my awesome memory. They'll give me the paperwork later, after two more sessions, at least. So that'll be about 16 weeks out, total.

All in all, I am not as bad as one would expect. Whee. Actually, I am pretty damn proud of my ass these days. Today will be the 2nd month anniversary of my renewed friendship with the gym and I am down 6.8 kilograms (15 pounds) and 11 centimeters (4.3 inches) around my waist. 

There are some suitcases to be sewn. Ohyes.

And, uh, what else is new? Hmm. Not much, I guess. I suppose I am very proud of my long elaborate post on gym, exercise and body fat-like substances. I mean, after all, that's what one does in the US right after New Year's. 

I was going to rant a bit about the New Year's celebrations here (not our particular one, but in general), but I guess I'll leave that for some other day. It's kind of getting close to bedtime now, yup.