Lolz.

I've come to realize that I really suck at updating this blog. I would assume that, partially, it's because it lacks feedback. Yup, I do know that most don't get any and I never really expected it, either. So I guess it's just hard to stay motivated and remember to do it, especially when there's nothing huge going on in your life. Nothing huge worth sharing, at least.

I mean, sure, the fact that I'm pregnant is a huge thing, but it probably doesn't really fly as such past the two of us and our immediate family and friends. People get pregnant all the time, pull their hair between doctors appointments, give birth eventually and life goes on. I guess you never stop worrying, too, so hey, I'm not special. I've made it to 14 weeks, though, so that's a neat accomplishment, given the huge wave of pessimism when I saw the two lines for the first time. Tomorrow, according to the ticker that I've been using on various forums, the little one will morph into a lemon. Somehow, on the weird scale (I wish I knew tho created the ticker, hm), a lemon is bigger than a peach. Ooo..k. Maybe I've mosly been eating huge peaches and small lemons in my life.

On Monday, I go in to get more pictures of the baby. We've had seven scans so far (yup, seven) and I have a collection of twenty (20) ultrasound pictures. Not a bad photo album of someone who's been around for just a few months, huh? We've gone from a ring to a dot, then to a rat-like being, and finally to something small that resonably resembles a human being. During the last scan, we got to see two skinny legs, two fat arms... and a nose. Yup, there's a chance the baby has a huge nose. Thank you, Derek. I wish we would have found out the gender, too, but the doctor decided to not even try. It was still pretty early, but she also had to get some completely different measurements and the little one just wasn't cooperating. Thirty minutes and some chiropractor-like moves after, I left with a sore abdomen, but at least we had the NT measured correctly. We got the results back the other day and were very relieved to hear that the trisomy chances were pretty minimal. At least some things have gotten, now, moved out of the way.

Maybe they'll get to take a peek at the kiddo's crotch on Monday, or so I hope. 14 weeks and some days could be just about the right time. Or not. We kind of think it's a boy and, if it isn't, it will just have to learn to deal with boys clothes and equipment. Okay, nothing is really screaming boy-related paroles, but I do have to admit that none of the colors, as well as designes, are pretty girl-like. Can't help it; I am not a cupcake-princess person myself, either. I have been, however, turning into a cupcake. I guess I'll slap the picture here, as well. So, dear world, this is my watermelon-looking self at 4 weeks and some days, 9 weeks and some days and then, finally, around 13 and a half weeks. Whoa, I said, when I saw the pictures lined up like this. Luckily, the scale still says only 500 grams gain. That makes me feel a bit better.

Other than the baby, nothing's new. The weather's been nice, I've been lazy/tired, the Earth's been turning all the same, blablabla. We're slowly starting to tackle the upstairs. There's a lot of work that needs to be done, from floors to walls, the entire bathroom needs to be exploded and then redone. Plus some furniture. This, that, whatnot. So far, I can't seem to find a shade of orange that will work in the baby's room. Quite a few look nice when I grab a sample at the store, but then turn into a piece of poop once painted on the wall. I've bought ten samples of the color orange and I might consider only like two or three. Maybe.

Yes, I am very picky and hard to please, in case anyone's wondering.

I'm signed up for a pregnancy yoga class and we're starting next week. I love yoga and it's been a while since I've done it. I'm also excited because this is a pretty damn narrow interest group and, for the first time in my (American) life, I might end up in a class with women who are at least remotely the same age as I am. Or, to put it some other way, it is very hard to imagine that my pregnancy yoga class will be full of 50+ women, okay?

While I am at it, I will also admit that I haven't been exercising regularly since before our trip to Croatia. I blame myself, of course, but I also want to give my butt a little bit of a break - I really couldn't do it during the trip without absolutely getting out of my way and signing up for a short-term gym membership there (so I walked insane distances on a daily basis instead!). Then there was the end of semester here, so I had to wrap up all the loose ends in school (got my A, yay me) and now... I should just go back to not-sucking. With the blog, exercise and many other things, really. I'm not even as tired as I used to be, even though this watermelon that I'm starting to carry does make me feel a bit different. I've been a lot bigger before, but I guess the body shape and the way the weight gets distributed just don't compare. By the end of this 9 month deal, I'll probably be rolling around.

Whee.

Whoa, even Blogger has changed...

...since the last time I stopped here. Oops. Oh well, though. It's nothing new, the whole deal with me failing to do things in a timely manner. 

A lot of other things have changed. We've been to Europe and back, for instance. The trip was nice, even though I have to admit that taking three weeks off work and then flying all those miles back and forth makes you feel like you never had a vacation in the first place. We had some huge plans for our holiday, yet we did pretty much none of it. But it was still just fine; just seeing family and friends was worth it. 

We celebrated Easter over there, ate some good foods, wandered around. Okay, the latter was mostly me (with my family and friends), while Derek slept, played games and did whatever else a guy does on vacation. I suppose he was mostly being lazy. Our original plans included a trip to Budapest and then Rijeka, as well, but we pretty much didn't leave Zagreb at all. One thing I noticed - I really missed my car. I love walking, really do (it's something I greatly miss on this side of the world), but it's nice to have the four-wheeled pet in the garage, too, waiting to go places with me, whenever and wherever I want it. 

 

At a family dinner, some random Wednesday when we all went out, Derek decided to eat some frog legs and he loved it. I have to admit I didn't feel like even taking a bite. The idea of biting into that kind of animal just sounded icky. Yes, okay, I'm a hypocrite. Some animals I eat without much thinking. Ohwell! I might've tried frog legs before, though. They are not an uncommon food whatsoever.

And here is, finally, a picture of us. This was taken our last day in Zagreb or, well, the picture itself was not even in town. We went kind of shopping, but we spent the majority of time eating some sushi-like foods. I enjoyed oranges the most. I guess I am sometimes just weird. Or every once in a while, I might actually even have a good reason for my weirdness!

And then, finally, time for some old news. Mostly old. Technically, it's big enough to at least get its own blog post, but there is no way I'll post twice in a day!

In case there's still someone in the world who has not seen our shark/rat/badger/blob... well, here it is. This is our offspring at 8 weeks 0 days. It had a strong heartbeat that day, too (and it's been heard once since). We go in for another appoinment on Monday, then yet another just a week after that. We're still in our first trimester (10 weeks and counting), but I kind of feel everything's going to be fine with this little person-to-be. If it isn't, I have to admit that someone is pulling a huge joke on me and my body. I look like I've swallowed a smaller watermelon, or at least half of it. Good part of the deal is that I've gained only about half a pound. Bad part of the deal is that I'll likely gain more, of course. Not good, especially right after you get done working your butt off to take a ton off. But oh well. C'est la vie, I guess. It's not like we didn't plan for this, it just took a bit longer than expected... and in the end was almost absolutely unexpected. 

No idea as of yet what the little sharkie actually is, but if anyone asks me, it's a boy. Yup. (Or so I think.)

Map Project - Art House Co-op

Here they go again.

This weeks project: Map Project. It's free, just like any other time.

Draw, build, print... just create a map, or something similar and mail out by the due datem, which for this entry is April 30th 2012.

I'll get mine going. Thanks to these small projects, I've been feeling at least reasonably accomplished!

Random Ramblings

Have I had one of these moments before? I must have, but maybe not under the same title? Who cares, actually. 

Tonight, I'd simply like to share my frustrations with the American healthcare system. It's not even about the financial side of it: the whole deal is expensive, yes, and we all know it. You pay a ton for your insurance, then you pay a few more tons almost every time you see a doctor. Eventually, when/if you get really sick, you end up piss poor and voila - nobody cares. That's all fine and dandy and we've talked about it a million times. There really isn't anything new I could say about it.

I suppose I am lucky enough because I get insurance through work so my little policy is actually part of some group deal, blablablawhatever. Neat. It covers some things, but doesn't cover what I actually need right now. No suprise there. Almost every time I see a doctor, I need to invest a few hours into studying paperwork, dialling numbers and yelling at random people. After that, I can finally relax because my sky-high bills all of a sudden become at least partially covered, just like they should be. Why? Because the freaking policy I pay for says so. It's the service I buy, which they don't deliver. Why? Simply because they are thieves and they can get away with the shit they do. 

I am not quite sure why that keeps happening as if it were okay. Maybe it simply is, because no end user other than myself (and maybe someone else here and there) actually gets upset when they are being charged for what needs to be free? Maybe because nobody actually understands how things work? Or maybe everyone here happens to be so rich that they don't care, at all, where their money goes? I really doubt the latter is the right answer.

I do notice that many people I get in contact with have no clue what even happens with or to them at their doctor's office. They'll take some drugs because their doctors prescribe them, they'll do tests because they doctors say they should and life will be good. I can't do that. I do nothing, nothing at all, if I don't know what it is, its name, its purpose, the reason I should be taking it, or put through it. I want and demand to know how it works, why it works, why it wouldn't work and what to expect during and after the treatment, procedure or any other thing. I demand to see all of my test results and actually archive my own copy of whatever paperwork they might gather and put into my file. It's mine, it's about me and I want it. All of this probably annoys the majority of doctors I've met in this country, but at the same time, I have to admit that, after a long search (errr, trial and error, actually) I did manage to find three that I can work with. Hell, I actually even like them. But they do have to work a bit for their money, that's for sure.

So now that I've shared the fact that I am a little bit of a medical freak (yup, I probably know more than you should, if your college degree has nothing at all to do with a med school of any sort), I can move onto another thing that I find horribly frustrating.

From what I've heard, both in person and through the media, many Americans are scared of any and all forms of universal healthcare systems. They consider them to be an evil creation of communism, or probably something even worse. They tend to believe that, should a system like that get introduced here, that they would be banned from just about any choices and options. (They also seem scared of others, who I won't name or describe in any way, somehow spending all of their hard earned money by using health services 24/7 and not paying a penny for any of it, but this part of the story is a lot less relevant here.) So they believe that they would no longer get to choose which doctor to see, or which hospital to go to. I suppose that's how they imagine communism, then, because I can't possibly  understand where else a fear like this would come from.

 At the same time, in this big country of apparently any and all opportunities, I can't seem to find a doctor, a nurse or just about any healthcare provider of any sort who would work with me the way I want it for my own money. In Croatia, as well as in many other European countries (likely elsewhere in the world, too, but I tend not to talk too much about things I know little to nothing about), these kind of doctors would be referred to as private practice, which means they wouldn't collect their money through insurance, but instead straight from your pocket. They are simply governed by the free market and they operate like any other business. 

A doctor (with his medical degree and all other certificates, permits, credentials and funky stuff they need) gets himself a nice office, buys some equipment, gets a nurse or two or twenty and runs his own small business. They advertise their services and you buy their shit. It's really that simple. Some of these doctors are affordable, some less so, but it all works out in the end, as pretty much all of them find their own target group. Don't have money for these? That's fine, there's still the regular healthcare that's paid through taxes and for the most part if works just fine. 

Well, here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, etc. etc. etc., I can't seem to go anywhere and get what I want, just simply because I want it. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to get something illegal done, or even immoral, hell, not even questionable or weird! Today, for instance, all I wanted was an ultrasound scan. One simple scan. One of those where you walk in, say hi, ask them to put a nice wand into your private part and take a few looks. Then they also may or may not print some pictures for you which you proudly get to take home, even if they're just an ovarian cyst (such as my dear late friend Fifi, who disappeared sometime between 2009. and 2010.) or something as stupid as that. That is all I wanted today. It wasn't anything important, serious or, god forbid, something my life depended on. I was not in pain, I was not pregnant, I was not miscarrying, I had no STDs or any other big issues. I pretty much got curious (err, okay, angry and perhaps somewhat worried) because of some out-of-line number I was given today as a result of my yesterday's blood work. So I wanted this scan. I wanted it bad.

And I couldn't get one. It's just not possible to schedule it. I talked to my ob/gyn's nurse (nice lady, I can't complain), but she couldn't do anything about it. The doctor himself (also very nice guy) couldn't help me. He wasn't concerned about that thing, he didn't really order the blood work either (he wrote the referral, but I demanded it and apparently nearly lied in order to get it approved) and he couldn't then, for no good reason at all give me an ultrasound. Imagine? An ultrasound! I wasn't even requesting a third breast implant in the middle of my left elbow, followed by a completely unnecessary toe removal. Nope. I wanted a routine scan and I couldn't get one.

I didn't even want it to go through insurance, since I didn't care to argue with them, or even to put the doctor in a stupid position where he has to explain things to whoever takes care of the claims there. I would have paid for it out of pocket, at the spot, with my own money, straight into the hospital's register. But I couldn't, because this country does not even have an option of that sort. There are no places, at least that I know of, where I could nicely (and above all legally) walk into and ask for a service I would pay for. Instead, you need to play a stupid game by who-knows-whose rules, wait a million years for an appointment and, in the end, often get next to nothing done. Once you do accomplish things, then it's hard to get your medical records and answers to any and all of your questions. I guess it scares them if you actually know what's going on? Maybe they are also scared you would fall into a raging fit if you knew that your blood sugar was 4, progesterone 45 and that your kidney actually had a stone or ten in it? And it's all happening for your own money.

Shitty. Very shitty.

All I got was a piece of dead cow...

I really wanted steak today. I wanted one yesterday, too, but I couldn't come up with a place to go to. I am by no means a fan of meat, but every once in a while, I just want steak, ok? It didn't feel or sound right to go buy a piece of something and prepare it myself (no grill in Minnesota in March), so we decided to go out. We chose Olives, a really nice place in the downtown area (I'd personally move them out of the hotel building they're in, but I don't think anyone's asking for advice, really) and all I got was - a piece of dead cow. No, I'm not turning orthodox vegetarian and calling steak names, it's just that they overcooked my poor New York Strip to the point where it resembled a shoe sole of some sort. Meh. I hate things that bleed on my plate, but I don't really eat rubber either. No idea what happened because last time we were there, my well done piece of cow was really pretty damn good. As for its size, the little chirpy waitress either horribly lied about 10-12 ounces of meat, or the process of cooking squeezed not only life out of the cut, but some odd 7 ounces as well. I also learned I shouldn't really ask for substitutes often either, because they replaced a baked potato with some sauteed vegetable mush I didn't even touch. Ick!

So that's my steak frustration of the day. 

Here. I stole something from the internet. I bet it tastes better than my dinner!

I guess today was overall a very bad food day. I've been lazy this week so there was no homemade lunch today and I had to forage for food around noon (unfortunately, my March schedule forces me to believe I am hungry at least an hour too early). I went to the Coffee Hag and got all excited about their salad of the day: Pad Thai! The ingredients sounded just right; they were exactly what I wanted. I took a bowl (cheap!) and drove home and then: BAM. Cilantro. Freaking cilantro everywhere. Blergh. I can't think of a flavour more repulsive than that damn herb. I ended up eating Noodle&Co's Bangkok Curry. Yay for junk food. If anyone wants a serving of Cilantropad Thai, please have at it. It's in my fridge (should I take another photo?), probably waiting for a raccoon to munch on it. 

And this is all I have to say on this great day. Or night. Perhaps evening.

I do have a photo

I guess nobody gets to kick my butt.

I won't be submitting this one, though. I need to get the real camera and take a better shot. The contents of the fridge are likely to be the same, except for maybe all the nasty soda part. Derek might go through it before I am done taking pictures.

The Things Found Series - hopefully I will find mine!

This is a place I like: Art House Co-Op. They do all kinds of projects, I try to participate, I often fail. The story of my life, where procrastination takes over and time runs out and things go unfinished forever. Currently, I am actually working on my Sketchbook and it should  be done before it's too late. I mean, hello, I've done the cover, okay? Most of the cover? And I finally have a concept in my head. Once those things get into my head, it's a lot easier to get them out of it too. Or so I believe.

Last week I failed to submit my entry for a free project they were running. It was nothing complicated, all they wanted were pictures of people's meals, all taken at the same time. I think it was last Thursday, but unfortunately the time they asked for did not work out for me. I had no food on me at work and I couldn't eat at that particular moment even if I wanted to. Blergh. I can't wait to see what they got and came up with, though.

This week's free project is called The Things Found Series. Go ahead and sign up for it! I have and I will do this one. I absolutely will. It's not even time-sensitive, at least not in terms of when  it needs to be done. I might take my photo right away today and be done and over with it.

Just kick my butt if I don't, okay?